I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
