normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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