Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
