My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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