Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
