It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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