I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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