Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
