You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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