I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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