Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
