Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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