he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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