My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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