Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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