Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My ass is underappreciated
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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