Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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