But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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