hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
