god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize