What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
