If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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