Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is Oprah even human
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize