Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
