i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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