Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You are a genius and a whore.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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