I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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