our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
