you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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