...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize