when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
