now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
