I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
did i just pee glitter
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
