we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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