kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize