I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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