You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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