she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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