Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
