what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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