U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
