i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
