Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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