After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
