I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm passing your future prison.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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