apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
