Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize