we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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