does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
