I'm lost and stupid without you.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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