Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have demons in me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
