if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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