I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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