i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
