i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
