well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
