pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
