Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
