Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
