You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
