How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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