Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
