Tell her she can't have a vagina
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
