I smell stomach acid.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize