I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize