allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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