I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
