saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
