There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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